"Conversation Starting"

I've never been good at starting conversations, then again my entire life has been sitting here, in my room, at a desk in front of a computer screen. I don't go outside or really interact with people...besides in school. I feel bad whenever I'm talking to someone, say for instance on Skype, and I can't even come up with simple topics to talk about. I like talking to people about things that are currently going on when I'm gaming or stuff. For example, one of my friends, when playing Counter-Strike, I can easily strike up a conversation since we're both playing the same game together. However when it's someone who I am not playing games with it's a different story. I try to think of many different topics, however I don't want to talk about something that has already been said or mentioned before. Sure a simple "How was your day" is a nice start, but how long will that conversation honestly last for? I think at most, depending on the events that happened in the day, I'd say around 5-10 minutes. My Skype calls normally go on for more than 2+ hours...how am I supposed to fill those other 110-115 minutes? Sure you can say, talk about the future, their interest, and jobs...but what if those have already been discussed extensively. And if you're a person like me, you don't have many things to talk about your life. I play video games, but if that person doesn't extensively play video games...then the conversation goes no where. I watch Anime, but if the other person watches a small amount or none at all, the conversation once again goes no where. I wish to one day be able to start conversations...maybe I need to do more with my life than sit here and type this giant paragraph, but I know nothing will change. I enjoy sitting here, alone, typing, rather than going outside and taking a breath of fresh air. Since there will be no change, sadly I probably will never achieve my wish of being able to come up with topics. Maybe there's just something wrong with me...and me only.

Utsukushī mada aku (美しいまだ悪) Chapter 3: Problems Arise

Chapter 3: Problems Arise

            With little warning, the girl I just met told me to get ready for my life to become hell. I wasn’t sure of what to think of this. Of course I knew it was bad, but I didn’t understand anything at all.

            “So you want me to leave with you right now? What about Nariko? I can’t leave her. Also why should I trust you? You haven’t even told us your name yet!”

            “Fuck you’re annoying! I don’t even have a name. People call me Kuro Kaminari no Shoujo.

            “Wait…they call you ‘Dark Thunder Girl’…what kind of name is that?”

            “I told you dumbass! It’s NOT a name. It’s just what people call me. I’ve never had a name.”

            As suddenly as she had said that she picked me up and flew high into the sky with me. Past the clouds above and beyond what any human had ever seed without being in an airplane. We soured through the sky until we took a plunge all the way down, deep underwater. In the middle of the Sea of Japan we went down until we fell into a place with oxygen.

            “This place is what you refer to as Heaven…didn’t expect it to be under water now did ya?”

            “No…this is cool and all…but I never agreed to this. We just Nariko behind. Why couldn’t you take her with us?”

            “She isn’t needed nor is she special at all. Anyways, this Island used to float into the sky until humans became greedy of what was hidden inside of it. After all we wouldn’t let mere humans tread on this land so easily.”

            “So this really used to be what humans imagined Heaven to be like, huh?”

            “Yup…Now it’s just a sunken island. The reason why we can breathe down here is because its protected by a force-field like substance that protects us from water flooding and ultimately making it unbreathable down here. This used to be my home for a while.”

“You lived in Heaven?”         

“Sadly…yes. I died a very young age and was given another chance at life by protecting the human race. To add to that I don’t remember the times before I died so I’m not even sure who killed me or for what reason…”

“Sorry…for asking such a painful question”

“It’s fine. Remember? I don’t have any memories before I died so there’s nothing to be sad about and soon you won’t either!”

All of a sudden I felt weak, fell to my knees and grabbed my chest. I passed out. I later figured what had happen while I was knocked out…and I wasn’t pleased

Utsukushī mada aku (美しいまだ悪) Chapter 2: Existence

Chapter 2: Existence

                The people walking down there, did they truly exist? All we know is that they disappeared without a trace shortly after the encounter with the Aku No Ferō. Later on me and Nariko met at my place to discuss what had happened.

            My mother had put us some tea in my room and left us alone. She’s very calm and trusting. Therefore she questioned nothing, even though this is the first time Nariko has been in my room let alone a girl who is not in my family.

            “So..what do you think that was all about Nairko?”

            “How am I suppoed to know? I asked you the same question when that ‘thing’ appeared!”

            “Well…for starters…those people…they disappeared...”

            At that time we didn’t know of what was to come in our near future…and how Nariko would be left behind and I would have to join a world not known to humans.

            All of a sudden there was a thunder storm and the power went out. I and Nariko sat there calmly talking about casual things waiting for the power to come back. My mother brought a candle into the room, sat it down, and then left. About 10 minutes later the power flicked back on and suddenly we were greeted with an unfamiliar face from the darkness of my bedroom window. Nariko, still shaken from today’s encounter instantly backed off and hid behind me.

            “Who are you? How the hell did you even get to the second story window?”

            “Rude. Is that how you greet everyone who is just trying to help? I come from Ten jōki no jinrui, in simpler terms what humans call ‘Heaven’…although it’s not what they make it out to be.”

            “So you’re not here to do whatever that ‘thing’ did to them earlier?”

            “No, do I look like a fucking monster? No. I didn’t think so”

            At that time I couldn’t even begin to imagine that this girl was going to be my partner in the future. She began to explain everything that happened today.

            “So basically, that ‘thing’ you saw today is known as an Aku No Ferō or Fellow of Evil. They consume the human soul for more power, since all they believe in is that however is stronger should be their leader…although they rarely move in groups. When the human soul is eaten it must be quickly replaced with a substitute. They continue to live for a short time. During that short time everything that involves them slowly disappears including memories with that person. Eventually no one will remember them and they will disappear from this world without a trace. There is no way to save them since they are already dead”

            “Basically, me and Nariko are lucky that the Aku No Ferō didn’t spot us? Otherwise we wouldn’t be living right now?”

            “Maybe Nariko wouldn’t live, but you…you have a strong soul… its possible you could be of some use to me. Get ready for the rest of your life to be hell.”

Utsukushī mada aku (美しいまだ悪) Chapter 1: Aku No Ferō

Chapter 1: Aku No Ferō

My name is Jirou Araki. I have just been promoted to the 9^th grade yet nothing feels to have changed. They say that when you get to high school you lose your friends and life changes, I have yet to feel that. Everything is normal, Nariko is always being annoying, Kato is being a smartass as usual, and Ueda is reading an advanced book.

Back then I thought nothing would ever change in this boring world. All you do is study stuff you’ll never use in life and then get a job and work for most of your life before retiring. This boring processes of life was interrupted when the air became thin and everything froze.

“Jirou! What’s happening? Why is everyone not moving? Why is the air thin? Why is everything so dark?” screamed Nariko. “How am I supposed to know? This isn’t something that happens every day. Wait…what is that outside”? Suddenly Jirou spots what appears to be a big deformed snake. It’s tongue is missing, when it opens its mouth it’s like looking into a pit of darkness.

“What should we do Jirou?”

“Nothing for now, just don’t let it see you”

Suddenly they see below them the snake slowly devouring a blue sphere which was inside a human. He did this to many more. When Jirou and Nariko thought it was going to continue and eventually find them, he disappeared as if he was never there. The darkness subsided and they could breathe easily again. Everyone began talking and moving as if nothing happened besides Jirou and Nariko who were lost of words. The people whose sphere where eaten continued walking as if nothing happened.

“…What…was that…?”

“What was what?” Kato said.

“Nothing…” whispered Nariko as she faced towards Jirou who was still in shock.

“How could they not have noticed? That thing just did something to them and they’re just continuing on with their lives…how come?” Jirou said as he stared at them walking past the school.

What could that have been? We know it all too well now, but back then there was nothing to prove that what we just saw happen, actually happened. Until later that day…we say one of the people whose sphere had been eaten…they slowly disappeared without a trace right in front of us and everyone continued walking as if nothing had ever happened.

Utsukushī mada aku (美しいまだ悪) Prologue

Utsukushī mada aku

美しいまだ悪

This story may seem similar to Shakugan No Shana because it inspired me to write this.

Prologue

“Kuro kaminari no Shoujo” is what she’s called. Apart of a big group, Yōsu, all aiming for one goal, to eliminate the world from those who take our soul known as Aku No Ferō. Yet humans continue to roam around care-free as if nothing is going on…since they don’t know what is truly happening. The sad truth is that humans can’t see the Aku No Ferō. Aku No Ferō comes from an alternate universe which is an exact replica of our current Earth. They feasted on all humans there until there were none. All of the Yōsu were killed along with the humans and even though the Ferō could live without eating more, they wanted more power and therefore decided to move to a realm with humans. The King of Ferō announced their plans to go to our universe, me and her.

Life?

Is life lost? Is it over? How can I tell? I always feel either very happy or seriously depressed. Maybe it's my fake smile that brings me true happiness when the sharp blade of a knife pierces my skin. The many marks that have been left on my arm. Those scars shall never leave, and will always remind me that i'm addicted and shall never escape. All this started with one small cut. Just for relief from the everyday stress. Sadly, it's become a daily motivator. Without it I am nothing but a pile of meat. If I end my life now, maybe i'll be remembered? That's a question, that may be answered another time, but not now, not like this.