Thursday, February 5, 2015

-Untitled Story- Please give feedback

   In the world we know today, there was a secret world not known to the human realm. Inside a parallel world these battles happen in large scales. The world looks exactly as it does now, however the parallel world is being destroyed by the many wars carried out by the Demon Lord and Angelic Queen. They agreed beforehand that the Demon’s would not attack Humans but instead would create a separate world for the battles, this was the agreement between the two. How you get enlisted in the army, is as simple as dying. When a human dies they are thrown before judges known as an Arbiter. They simply judge the humans based off of their thoughts in everyday life, actions, and addictions. Normally once they die they’d be sent to Heaven or Hell and continue to live their days there, Hell being filled with poverty and a communistic system while Heaven being a paradise. The overall goal of the Demon Lord “Kuramochi Kyoshi” is to defeat the Angels and conquer all of Heaven for himself. But what goes on in the Human world? Nothing. They don’t notice a thing, it’s a separate dimension remember? Until Shigi Nahoko found a tear between their universe and the original universe.

   “Yes! With only a few more steps and ingredients I will be able to find the Human world! I’ve always wondered what Humans look like, Jin-san, do you think they taste good?” said Nahoko excited and hungry. “How am I supposed to know, the most we know about humans is that they were sent here when they died, plus we’re much better than the humans anyways.  They’d probably tremble with fear if they saw me” replied Jin with his arrogant attitude as always. Osagiri Jin, A 17 year old who died by a robber in front of his girlfriend, he no longer contains the memories of his past life. Shigi Nahoko, scientist of sorts in the Underworld, she’s only 16 but has made the greatest progress in defeating the Angels. “Trouble has arrived! The Angel Queen and Demon Lord just went head to head and we can’t find them! They disappeared!” screamed Tokika, the Demon Lords right hand man. Nahoko and Jin started their sprint towards the outside to figure out what had happened. They weren’t aware of anything because they were underground about 3,500ft. When they arrived to the top everything was leveled. No buildings, tree’s, cars, nothing. “How can this be? Was the Demon Lord really defeated” feared Jin. “It appears both of them disappeared, but that’s stupid…two people can’t just disappear into thin air” questioned Tokika. It appears as though the Demon Lord and Angel Queen has disappeared and the war broke silent still, just what was happening? 
·       Characters
·       Humans

 Green=Good Bad=Red
 Demon side/ Angel Side
·        Male
Okamura, Toshiaki
Kuramochi, Kyoshi
Sakuraba, Terumoto
Anzai, Tokaji
·        Female
Toshishai, Rikako
Ohba, Nami
Handa, Masumi
Shimada, Kiriko
Ueda, Yoriko
·       Non-Human
·        Male
Ajibana, Arata
Osaragi, Jin
Matsuda, Kakuei
Oonishi, Yoshio
·        Female
Takemago, Haru
Shigi, Nahoko
Satake, Shizue
Yoshioka, Kaede

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